i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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