You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
