i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
