I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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