I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize