that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
