Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
