Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize