Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
