We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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