is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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