i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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