get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
