You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
