halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
