he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
