I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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