GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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