yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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