I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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