Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
