i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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