and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize