So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
