why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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