And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
