So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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