remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
