I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Welp...herpes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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