The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
