Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
