If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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