We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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