I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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