Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
