she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
