yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
