we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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