i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
