I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
