People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
