I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
