shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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