mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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