Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
