We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Please don't give away my fajitas
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
