I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
