As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So squirting runs in the family.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
