And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
