Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
