Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
