mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize