he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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