You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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