Betty ford says i'm here all night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
