New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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