i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
