left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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