Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
